So , let me see.

I didnt get to update my blog this past few days , im sooooo busy and plus im lazy. Haha ! So , urm . Nothing quite happened. Nothing interesting. Didnt get to meet up with my boyfriend. Its been a week since I last saw him. Such a long time ! Mum , didnt let me go out. She said I should rest. Woaaah. I dont need one mum. I really dont. It sucks like totally. Sis was working today. Woooh. She wants MONEH. Alot of it. Come on , ifa .. Ure only a part timer. Dont be sooooo. Urgh. "tamak" . U didnt even.think about your health. = = .

Oh well , so I just spend my sunday like , a lazy ass girl.. Always on my bed. Haha ! Watched tv. And some movies . Cds. Haahahaha! Boring day though.

Ouh ! That girl came to work on saturday , and she was at usher , together with me ! God dammit. She showed me her tattoo on her upper part.of her breast , and its like super disturbing for me. Apparently , she tattooed her ex boyfriend's name . Andy. Lol ! She asked me wether I.have a boyfriend ! Lol ! I said YES instantly.

Oops =X. she just scares the hell out of me. She also hold my hand for a handshake and never let go. Woaaah. Ass. I was shivering. Lol ! But in the other hand.. I.find her rather cool. She is into Rock. Lol ! Love her lip shadow. Whered she get that.! Ouh ! Ouh ! And she said she wish she had a body like mine ! Like .. WHAT ???! Im superly uncomfortable with that statement. HELP ! Haha ! So , yeahh. Thats about it.

Sometimes , I wonder wether my life right now will have a bright future , will I achieve my dream to be a doctor. ? =( . Cause what I see now , is just ... Nothing. I am.scared. I am truly scared for what lies ahead of me. Im scared. )': . I wish I can.just cry it all out and everything will be alright. Guess , it wouldnt happened . It wouldnt be as easy as it looks. There is always a ray of hope after a problem. I hope my ray of.hope will be a miracle for me. I really didnt want to.dissapoint my parents. I really dont..i did it once .. But never again. I will never be a disgrace to my family. Never will. But , what if I dissapoint them.again ? And theyre ashame of me ?

Urgh ~ I just hope everything will be fine. My future will be bright. And everything goes smoothly. Please god help me. ):  .

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My life currently ? Hmm. I dont know. I think its going down the hill. I am wanting to give up everything   but little part of me says to keep holding on. Whats happening right now ? im not to sure , if I am able to

Keep on moving with this life. Gah ~ well apparently , my sis life is going GREAT ! Glad to see that. Going with the flow I guess .. That is what im doing right now. So ! Anws , had.much fun on,Thursday. With ifa and iszwan. Lol ! Watched Journey 2 .. And went arcade. I SWEAR SHOOTING ARCADE GAME.IS SUPPERRRR FUN ! Haahaha. Played guitar hero .. And I dont know this japanese guitar game. Lol ~ FUN FUN FUN ! Went and.eat at pastamania.. Pizza ! Hahaha ! 3 for me , 3 for iszwan and 2 for ifa. HAHA. I WAS DEAD HUNGRY ! Ouh ! And bought this ring necklace for 20 dollars. I swear .. 77th,street is MY FAVOURITE SHOP ! <3  hehe.

Well , that particular phrase still lingers on my mind. Is that a sign for me to take those words as an motivation.and encouragement to my future studies.? Hm. maybe.

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Went out with,Boyfriend yesterday. Had a great day with him though (: watched movie = Special Forces .

Bought a medium sized popcorn and also , a medium sized drink. So now , I know how Root beer TASTE Like. Hahaha. ! Ouh ! And cheezy hotdog ! <3. Yum yum yum. Couldnt finish the salty popcorn and Dany finish it up. HAHAHA. (PBG) . We had frolick before that. It was YUMMEH. Well , I didnt liked marshmallows , so .... GUMMY BEARS. YUM <3 . he feed me <3 . HAAHAHA. Was blushing , but .. We were busy playing flip it in his ipod. AWESOME GAME. HE IS OUT ! Muahaha ! Challenge accepted though dany , BRING IT ON ! (:

Heh. So went back home around 8 plus. As mum asked me to be home , she said theres someone coming to our house.. And apparently , she is lying. SAY WHAAAAAAT ? Im like .. Okay.... Gah ~ watched immortals with alif at night , and it just ended. Lol ~ ouh ! AnD played thia game cowboy with ZOMBIES ! Wah. Freaking scary. Eeee. The zombies will die only when we shoot it at their heads. My aiming failed terribly , just so you know. Grrr ~ more practice needed. Hahaha ! Aunt just came back from fetching ny uncle playing soccer at night. SUPER UNHEALTHY PLEASE. ~

Haha. One day , I shall try wearing heels. = = . If only I have one. Hahahaahaahaha ! Awwww. Tooo,bad. Hehe.

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I feel that ,  I am nothing. I have nothing in me to be proud of. Seriously. I really am just an ordinary girl. Boring. No special talents. Nothing. Plain boredom. Mother was never proud , demoralised , and keep on aiming all faults at me but , kept an high expectation of me. What is this all about ? Sister ? Well lets just say , she like to brag about her results. Her academic results. Told everyone about her results , and expect me to tell people mine , when someone asks. Well , I DONT WANT TO TELL ! So , just keep your mouth shut ! Even my N level result , I have 16 points , I dont BRAG about it. == . Come on. Its really getting on my nerves. So dont tell me , that you're irritated by me , cause of my actions towards boon hwee . I was just playing around. Atleast I never BRAG about my results right ? EVERY SINGLE TIME , ALWAYS TALK.ABOUT YOUR RESULTS. come on , I have feelings yknow. If u wanna talk about your results , DONT TALK ABOUT IT INFRONT OF ME. == .

Gah ~ and u kept saying ure annoyed by me . U think ure so 'PERFECT?' That noones get irritated and annoyed by you ? Atleast , I dont ACT SUPER FRIENDLY. I have my limits. Ure super different when ure around your friends and when.ure at home. == . Come on , be real. Which one is the real you ? You kept wearing my things , but I,cant really use your things ? Oh , I see now , I must always be the one who is giving in. always me. Everything me. I know , sometimes , u lend me your things and such , but I did not use it MOST OF THE TIME. gah ~ see , im super irritated. Thanks for all the hurtful words u gave me. Much appreciated. (: HAHA. Cause I know , thats me , and I show my real self to people. Unlike you. (:

Okay , I sound super bad , but I have to let it all go. I cant handle all this nonense . Whenever im with her , FML rule applies to me. Always. Why ? I dont know exactly why. But im hating it. =( .

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Where am I going in my life right now ? I just recieved my O level result and.it,really hit me hard. I scored25 points and I am really wishing I have a time machine to rewind the past. I know , I didnt do my,very best. I am regretting it now.

My twin , she scored 18 points. Congrats to her. Mum was dissapointed in me. I know she is., i am as dissapointed as her.

I now , realised how is this important for my future.

Crying,dosent bring me back to the past , so why do I even tearing ?

I am.always in this kind of situation.

I am as weak a twig. I break . I never learn from,anything. Maybe I wasnt taking this seriously. I was playing around.. Now , that it hit me in the head , I wouldnt want to lose my opportunity in my next level of studies. I will prove that I CAN ACHIEVE MY GOALS.

I wont be talking , but I will do it through my actions. And this time around , I wish I could really find what im specialised in . No turning back.

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I am super sick. I had a fever like yesterday with the temperature of 38.7 . And it rises up during the night at 38.9 . Woaaah. The feeling is super suckish. Dont make me mention about having fever and soar throat together. It was HELL. I couldnt sleep well yesterday night..i kept tossing in my bed. I was having a major headache. And my throat is killing me ALIVE. I was starting to sweat , well.thats a good sign. Cause I was covering myself up using my billabong hoodie jacket with 2 piece of pants. Shorts inside and long pants over the shorts and wore socks to make my feet warm and also my GIGANTIC blanket over my whole body. If I couldnt sweat with those things covering me up... I really dont know what I should do. Today , in the morning around 10 am, went to the doctor. I took my temperature and it was 37.6 . Woaaah. MAJOR FALL.IN TEMPERATURE. haha. So the docttor said I caught a cold. Hehe. This is for washing my hair and not dried it properly and straight to,bed. Ass. Nice one IKA ! ~ 

My boyfriend , he is SUPER caring. Lol ~ he FORCED me to drink warm water ): *sobsobs* LOL ~ but I have been drinking warm.water ... And I really miss my COLD WATER ! Haha. No no. for my voice. Haha. Its kinda better now. My voice came back but... My throat still hurts. Haha ! Continue drinking then. Haha. If not , my boyfriend , will be superly angry at me :P ( which I,doubt he will... Cause , IM TOOOO AWESOME FOR HIM TO BE ANGRY AT ME.:P)

Ps : Dany , if u read the paragraph above this.. Dont kill me. (:HAHAHA. I LOVE YOU.

So , yeaaaah ! Really am super nervous for monday. Shall TON TMRW NIGHT. cause I know I.couldnt SLEEEEEP . tooo nervous. Assssss. Time flies !!! Freeaak. Alot of 'what if's' is running through my mind right now. =(.

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I Love your NEW YEARS MESSAGE. I SMILE widely as I read it. I was blushing and I really am touched. I love you. Thats just how I am.feeling right now. Haha ! So , ITS 2012 ! .

Hopefully , we can lasts this relationship . Haha. Cause , roght now , I cant even imagined how would I be if I were to lose you. I am sorry , if I kept on telling you that I love you in the message , so randomly.. Hahaha. I just have to let it go. Hahaha !

Celebrated new years at SAUJANA COURT. Haha. We sat in the middle of the court and we OWNED THE PLACE TO OURSELVES. hahah ! Played. Firecrackers , sing , took pictures , made a new friend , punch ? Push... Fall. Hahaha. Laughed ! Woah. Hell alot of fun I had. Went bavk home ard 3 plus. Hehe. Slept at 4. Hahaha ! Parents wasnt that mad at us. HAHAHAHA. Yippppeeee ~

So , I am.SUPERLY REALLY ABSOLUTELY , UTTERLY NERVOUS FOR MY RESULTS , ITS LIKE ONE WEEEEEK LEEEFFFTT. I really dont want to know about my results. I dont want to be dissapointed. Gosh. I.DONT WANT TO RETAKE !! I want.to go to poly. Thats it. GAH ~

Must take off my mind from results. I must , I must , I must.

I missed my BOYFRIEND ): I never get to meet him.and he is booking in tmrw night. Oh my godddd. Im like feeling superly suckish. This feeling is like killing me. I WANNA SEE HIM ! ): grrr. This sucks super bad. THIS SUCKS BIG TIME ! >:{ .

Hopefully , tmrw will be a great day for me and this year will be the MOST MEMORABLE YEAR FOR ME <3

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