who am i to you really?

sometimes i feel no one needs me in their life. they treat me as a choice. I'm like no one important. where they are afraid to lose me. Maybe it is just me that treat people i met like jewels. I must stop doing that. or i am really getting myself into a pool of turds. No joke. HAHAH. the only people i feel they are afraid to lose me is just my BFFLs And the other twin. My other twin , Fira. We have the exact things . we feel each other and those of the anger management problem we have. its not a surprise knowing someone really do care and afraid of losing us. we will feel loved and belong to that particular someone. I was chilling outside my house that day,thinking of life. about me, my future and everything got to do with this world. i cried. i was all alone. he was at my neighbor house. he went out and he literally ignored me. Not even a hi. I saw him with her, that ... yana girl where my bro had a crush on. she was so .... flirty. it hit me hard. No doubt. i was jealous. Why am i even jealous when he is not even mine. knowing that he likes me , and he knows i like him. its like , we are like normal with it. i understand. i don't wanna rush . I'm not really ready for it. Plus i am thinking of the long term . I am not short term type. i think far. and i know he is too. i came to him that day, i played badminton , but he ignored me . he never went to the clubhouse that night. he only smile . i waved at him and he just smile. not even a single wave. cause seriously , i don't know what is going on. I am clueless about this, who are we really ? are we friends ? or are you just avoiding me for something i didn't even do.