Where were you? i used to know you so well. My life is crumbling down. Its going downhill again. I am hating it. As always. I am sad. I hide everything inside. I have no one to talk to. Even when i know someone real long. I just can't open up much. I showed them happiness but deep down inside i am just as sad as ever. I hide my sadness behind a smile. What i really want in my life right now ? beside me ? where i could just hug someone? and let my feelings i am feeling inside fades away? I just wish Richard is near me. He is just damn far. It will took such a long time for him to get here. I can't deny.. he is the only one I truly loved. Someone who always have made me smile. The one who i am always me. I could not hide myself from him. He loves me for me. But theres this huge barrier . separating us. Maybe some people will be like thinking " what? she is still young? what does she know about this stuff? " I am not joking man. i seriously felt it. Something i never felt before. I have known a lot of other guys here in Singapore. For sure, thats not the real me. Im not those kind of girl. sorry , i just can't open up myself. I'm just socially awkward.
So , shall stop being so emo and stuffs. i shall try to make myself happy. I am going to buy myself a penny board. Yes, i am going to skate. I am not joking. I ve tried it and i LOVE IT. after falling , i can really encourage myself in this. I don't care if my mum disagree in me skating. I must do what i believe in. Mum never really likes to support in whatever i do . since Young. ALL her ways i have to follow. but sorry mams, I'm Doing it my way now. No turning back. So i will be skating with my neighbors here. and ill be the only girl again. Dayum, hanging out with them is just simply awesome. :D heh. No joke! EXCITED !
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