You Left Again.

Surprisingly, you left once again. Im sorry. Im not going after you again. Im sick and tired of your actions of leaving me over and over again. I have given you a second chance ... And im not giving you anymore. u ran away everytime i prove your point. Cause logically, im much sane then you. Its funny how i can endure you all those years. Not anymore man. Not anymore.
Oh! I didnt get any feelings of jealousy when youre with someone or anything I USED to feel. After what you did. I THOUGHT i love you... But actually i didnt. Its dayum hurtful.

Black out.

so ...sunday was pretty boring. The electricity when down because of the explosion of the transformer. from 1030 am to .. 730 pm. Its like. HOLY!! you never wanna know how i spend my day. Most of it. its just .... Sleeping. :O Yes. sleeping. No joke. and around ... 3pm ? we went out to Bukit Indah Jusco IEON shopping mall. till 6pm ? IT WAS ... hell boring. i was literally dying. Wanted to buy the Step Up 2 VCD .. but then mum was like ... i have not enough money with me right now. AND IM LIKE ! WHAAAAAT, another disappointing thing which also bring my mood down. Seriously. My day is just that boring. gahh ~ hell. i never want this day to happen again PLEASE ! so tomorrow is the start of semester 2  for my school. and hell yes ,,,, I'm looking forward to it. *hearts* Shall bulk up on my studies and just aim high. no more joking around. i wanna aim at least 3.5 for my GPA. since i scored like GPA OF 2.75. how pathetic. okay. till here then NIGHTS.

im Lost.

Where were you? i used to know you so well. My life is crumbling down. Its going downhill again. I am hating it. As always. I am sad. I hide everything inside. I have no one to talk to. Even when i know someone real long. I just can't open up much. I showed them happiness but deep down inside i am just as sad as ever. I hide my sadness behind a smile. What i really want in my life right now ? beside me ? where i could just hug someone? and let my feelings i am feeling inside fades away? I just wish Richard is near me. He is just damn far. It will took such a long time for him to get here. I can't deny.. he is the only one I truly loved. Someone who always have made me smile. The one who i am always me. I could not hide myself from him. He loves me for me. But theres this huge barrier . separating us. Maybe some people will be like thinking " what? she is still young? what does she know about this stuff? " I am not joking man. i seriously felt it. Something i never felt before. I have known a lot of other guys here in Singapore. For sure, thats not the real me. Im not those kind of girl. sorry , i just can't open up myself. I'm just socially awkward.

So , shall stop being so emo and stuffs. i shall try to make myself happy. I am going to buy myself a penny board. Yes, i am going to skate. I am not joking. I ve tried it and i LOVE IT.  after falling , i can really encourage myself in this. I don't care if my mum disagree in me skating. I must do what i believe in. Mum never really likes to support in whatever i do . since Young. ALL her ways i have to follow. but sorry mams, I'm Doing it my way now. No turning back. So i will be skating with my neighbors here. and ill be the only girl again. Dayum, hanging out with them is just simply awesome. :D  heh. No joke! EXCITED !

First page of our story .

I can't blame others. I tried to help. They blamed me instead. Thanks for helping but sometimes , i can't really take what you have done. Thanks for everything but right now.. I have to show what i am feeling all this while. Call me rude and such .. but you just have to know.. i am not your toy where you can just throw me around and leave me at the side as if i am not someone and somebody to you. i was never a choice. All the results i have given you was all because of my surroundings and all the problems faced us as a family. I once have given you the results you wanted but you never even congratulate me. i just want all of this biased action of yours to stop. Seriously. i know where i am right now ..was never your choice or you ever thought i ll be . Ifa entered her Dream school while i am in a course which you dislike .. You never want me to be in this. Ifa is now your favorite. you kept talking about her to everyone. you never talked about me to anyone .. just a brief introduction was all you did. I never really cared for any attention but its clear that you're ashamed of me. I'm not going to brag about this . I just had enough all of this. I will one day , gain my freedom. One day. its all I've wanted. FREEDOM.  Just once.

SO .. look ! ~ ITS MY BRACELET ~ its nice right ! IRETH is an elf name. !  and and ... RIKA ?!  its my favorite name together with my best friend , Richard . from canada. You know him right ?! From my previous blog updates? HEHE. yeah. so RIchard+ IKA = RIKA. there ! so its cleared. HEHEHE . and a KITTEN AND SKULL BUTTON ! omg. SO CUTE ~ thanks to my twin sister. i Simply love bracelets. as you can see. Without them.. i feel NAKED. no joke. Watches was never an accessories for me . its just .. a .. hassle. DAYUM. IM getting out of topic. not surprising. PFFT ~ Listening to Into your arms now. Anyways . today ~ tried skate a cursing board. and it was awesome !~ I fell though . BUT nvm ! every fall will always make me try even harder. EMBRACING IT. XD for some people who really knows me.. i SIMPLY LOVE FALLING. hahaha ~ weird. i know. But the hell , its me ,xD and i love me. CHEY ~ I'm talking crap . =.= . Toodles. 

On the First Page

Another day spent.

I miss having starbucks. Really. anyone? Shall call up my BFFL for me starbucks. she is my STARBUCKS partner ! so went USS today and i was super awkward cause i went together with my sis and her boyfriend . she was all lovey dovey .. holding hands and stuffs. and I'm like there. urmmm . what ride should i take next? HAHAHA ~ thanks to her also.. she bought for me a bracelet with IRETH RIKA name on it. and a skull also kitten button ! its so cute ! i love it !~ *hearts* i have spent my day ... pretty well... opened up my eyes during GALACTICA for cylon and human, I LOVE CYLON RIDE. anyone ?! lets go !

ended my clinical attachment yesterday. Not surprised that I'm THE MOST happiest girl ever there. I ran towards the counter when the clock strikes 9 pm. IM NOT being rude or anything. but ! ITS FRIDAY ! and i end the day pretty well ~ ^^ . aunt fetch me from the hospital with her new car she bought. a mitsubishi lancer car. =.= . IT WAS a very... long journey back home because ... we got lost. we went ang mo kio instead heading back to Bukit panjang. LIKE WHHUUUAAA ... SHE WAS like... " DO you know where to go ? " and I'm like... " GIRL ~ I WENT BY BUS ... I DONT CARE WHERE IT WENT ...AS LONG IM HOME ~ " hahahahha ~ it was so funny ~ Cant help it. her face .... was ... PRICELESS ~ *happy retard face*  Im Gonna miss all the people there at my clinical attachment. serious.

Update !

so hi !
I AM HERE TO UPDATE. LOL !
SO I HAVE ALREADY HAVE 9 CORE SKILLS TO COMPLETE MY CLINICAL ATTACHMENT . well .. wait.. i already had 14 .. ! how awesome?! LOL. competent. hahahha ~ okay. so ... big fuck uh? LOL. well like duh ?! i am that awesome.... i was pissed off most of the time today. cause of two person. annoying assholes. Dayum, i could just punch you there . DONT ever make me lose my temper. you guys will regret it. i swear. That deadly stare i gave you was just the beginning. It is nothing yet. N O T H I N G. fucked up attitude in a fucking wrong time. just .. leave me alone. Don't ever disturb me, i never liked you guys. You guys are just.. dayum bitchy. I DONT GO FOR GIRLS LIKE YOU GUYS. eeeew . creeps me out. Feel like punching you guys in the face and just taste your blood. mmmm. Sorry violence is one of my issues. I'm not hiding from anyone. If you wanna be friends with me , you must keep up with my violence. I don't need people to use me in times. i am never a choice. no one wants to be a choice. If you're gonna treat me as a choice... then FUCK OFF.  i don't need humans like you guys. _|_  . Ouh, i watched Fairy tail and Adventure time ! ouh ! not forgetting ... Times of Gumball ! dayum love it. CARTOON NETWORK RULES . LOL ~ hopefully tmrw will be a great day. ! i know ... it will ~ <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p" toodles.="toodles.">

Surprise news. Woaaaaaah.

SURPRISED NEWS IVE RECEIVED FROM MY BRO.

woaaah ~ unbelievable. Dude, you should just try and tell me the truth. you don't have to hide it. Dayum.. i know actually.. i just ignore those stuffs. cause i never ... i don't know man. i love hanging out with you and stuffs, Do such ... random things in ... like the most random times. LOL ! i had fun. thanks for being with us when we just moved in. had a blast. seriously dude, we're gonna miss you :'( i never wanna say goodbye ! WHY MUST YOU LEAVE !! now we're gonna be like ... quiet. no friend to hang out with. my life would be a bore when u don't have here. Gosh, ill set a day where we will hang out like how we used to ! come back here man !!~ i missed the times we spend the day together. LOL ! fighting was one of them. LIKE duh. HAHAHAHA !  okay. done. I ll text with ya soon ! :D HEARTS ! <3 knuckle="knuckle" nbsp="nbsp" p="p" punch="punch">