Trusts.

Trusts. I have learned that .. even family members can just take an advantage on trust given to them. Dont blame anyone though. I blamed myself for giving them too much trusts and chances in always stabbing my back. I feel sometimes my family dont really be there for me when im cying or just screaming out loud. I prefer to be all alone. Atleast i wont betray my trust myself. From now onwards, i wont trust anyone. Even my family members. I ll be the one who make judgment of everything. I am the one who will blame myself and do everything myself without any concerns to my family. Dont blame me when i didnt really talk to you guys as often. Look at yourself, saying family.. but im always the one who gets all the blame. Im tired of cleaning my brother's shit everytime. I am always in the wrong. He is not even my real brother. Its really unfair. I didnt admit that i take my aunts charger because i am afraid... yes, i do feel afraid sometimes. But people tend to forget that i have a feeling of fear. It is just sad. I hide all my feelings to make me look strong and its funny how people really forgotten that i too have feelings. It dosent really mean if i hide my feelings, i dont have it at all. People have to really understand me. But they dont.... no one does. So, my brother found out i took my aunts charger , and i told him not to tell my mum as i dont want to hear her nagging. Apparently , he told my mum about it... DUDE, i wont even help,talk or whatever to do with you. I am no longer related to you. I gave you everything and this is what you gave me? I got your back when you are at wrong... when get beaten up by dad.... i felt sad for you. I know you bro.. ure a two faced . Im not kidding about that. You dare to talk about your real mum and when ure with her, you just being all the “im a good son” YOU Even talk behind your mum tell everyone what your mum did. Wah , dude... i dont even do that to my mum. Congrats yeah ? Thanks for this.. really. You have proven to me .. that i wont even give you any chance and trust. Thanks for making me learn not to trust anyone ... including family members. I am not surprise that alot of people wont want to be friends with you. I shouldnt have help you with khid. I should have let him beat you up. Cause , you cant really keep promises. Youre not a good guy. You never are. Well.. yeah, i regret and ashamed to call you my “brother” ... sorry, i wont forgive you. You gave me alot of shit. Thanks once again. 

Sunday Afternoon,

Its sunday today, and a very lazy one indeed. I am currently at the clubhouse opposite my house. They locked the dayum gate and we have to climb over it. Good job guys, Keep it up. stay cool. yes, i am being sacarstic. Just had my lunch at 2 pm just now, ate a arabian food. i don't know why I'm updating my blog. but i just want too. talking crap right now. cause i have nothing to say. Twinny is watching Ghost adventures 2 tables away from me... and i swear the mosquitoes here are asking me to kill them even though I'm giving them some mercy. " HELL YEAH MOSQUITOES ... NO MORE MERCY ! ILL CHOP YOU UP LIKE A CHEESECAKE YOU ARE ~ " NAH, no ... they are not cheesecake. was just having this random thought. MUAHAHA. alright.~ met BFFL SHERRY on friday though. She went down to my school and meet up with he boyfriend first while waiting for me , cause i was having my cellular molecular biology (cmbio) quiz. manage to complete it in 15 minutes. xD Horraaayy ~ <3 ...somehow="...somehow" .="." 19th="19th" 8pm.="8pm." a="a" after="after" ahd="ahd" all="all" alright="alright" am.="am." am="am" and="and" apparently="apparently" asap="asap" at="at" awesome.="awesome." bad="bad" becoming="becoming" bffls="bffls" but="but" cabbed="cabbed" cause="cause" dayum="dayum" didn="didn" dinner="dinner" down="down" early="early" end="end" enjoy="enjoy" expecting="expecting" fail.="fail." felt="felt" forward="forward" friend="friend" fun="fun" guess="guess" had="had" have="have" head="head" hehe.="hehe." her="her" home="home" house="house" how="how" i="i" it...="it..." it="it" joke.="joke." lazy="lazy" least="least" like="like" look="look" looking="looking" love="love" loves="loves" meet="meet" meh="meh" much="much" my="my" nbsp="nbsp" need="need" no="no" not="not" on="on" oppps="oppps" our="our" p="p" play="play" playing="playing" pool="pool" right="right" school="school" sean="sean" sherryxd="sherryxd" shows="shows" so="so" study.="study." study="study" t="t" that="that" thats="thats" the="the" they="they" this="this" though.="though." tired.="tired." to="to" too="too" town="town" twinny="twinny" up="up" update="update" usually="usually" wasn="wasn" we="we" were="were" why="why" wifi="wifi" will="will" with="with" won="won" xd="xd" yeah.="yeah." yeah="yeah">

Eye candy.

When u thought that You are already happy that someone notices you. Especially someone whom is your eye candy.

Something bad will always come after a good time huh? Thanks to my awkwardness and being straightforward, i think he finds it rather awkward...and he is somewhat different from how he used to be. He rarely texts me now, or even message me in facebook. I told him that he is my eye candy which is the reason why i find it awkward when we were having lunch together yesterday. But i had fun.

Is being awkward and being me, really that unacceptable by people around me ? Im always giving them awkward vibes. I wont deny that i am, socially awkward when it comes to people i just get to know. I tend to have problems talking to them. Im always labelled as the anti social kind of girl. I cant help it. I am trying my best to get along with people , but somehow my awkward aura is giving other people the wrong message. I dont get it. I dont understand. Is being friends with other people that hard ? Cant people just stop judging? I think i just gave him a very bad impression of me. Thanks . I just ruined my own life. Im hoing to dig my own grave and hide myself in there. Being in poly, yeahhh. Why not ?